Comedy this good almost writes itself. From KHOU:
. . . in a letter she’s sending to her council district voters, saying in part, “… the responsibility is mine. More importantly, it is my responsibility to make sure nothing like this happens again.”
That letter is part of a new public relations strategy launched after Alvarado hired a new political consultant and an expensive lawyer. She says she may pay them out of her campaign fund.
We looked up her last report from January and discovered she had nearly $350,000 in campaign funds. We couldn’t help noticing the report was notarized by Rosita Hernandez — one of the employees whose bonuses are now under investigation.
As an aside, it’s not uncommon for one or more employees in an branch to be a notary. But Ms. Hernandez had better hope she didn’t notarize anything to do with the payroll. I don’t see any reason why she should have, but, hey, that would be a real problem. Of course if it happened to be over Ms. Alvarado’s real signature, that could make it even more fun….
Meanwhile, council member Holm does some soul-searching. No, wait, lets make that <reverb> SOUUUUUUUUUUUUL SEARCHING </reverb>
Holm also wonders whether Houston needs a mayor pro tem’s office.
“I have searched my soul. And while I like the people, personally, I cannot figure out exactly what the pro tem office does,” said Holm.
Exactly which people are that she likes? the ones that haven’t got canned yet? The temporarily assigned employees holding those desks down? Or perhaps Ms. Alvarado? Well, if so, it’s nice to know she feels better about her than Shelly Sekula-Gibbs.
And then there’s the logical, but premature,
“Why have we not asked for the money back?” Pam Holm, Houston City councilmember.
Because the useless lawyers in the Legal Department haven’t figured out if that’s legal yet?
Oh, and in a totally unrelated but still funny matter, a lingere shop in Maine was forced to stop using live models after threats and protests.
Some suggested that the women brought life and beauty to the street, while others said using scantily clad women in storefront windows was morally reprehensible. A group calling itself Christians Lovingly Advocating Decency protested in front of the store on Valentine’s Day weekend.
I keep trying to make up a joke drawing a parallel between the replacement of live models with plastic mannequins, and hypothetical replacement of the CLAD’s spouses with rubber sex dolls, but it just isn’t quite there…
<whisper>“We’ve secretly replaced the spouse of the CLAD vice president with a rubber sex doll. Let’s see if she notices.”</whisper>
“Honey, did you start taking Viagra?”
Hmmm. I’ll go drink some coffee and work on it some more…